Self Control—Powered by the Holy Spirit

Self-control (n) restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, desires and actions.  

In today’s world we are addicted to sex, pornography and all kinds of sexual immorality.  We continuously invent new kinds of sin when it comes to illegal drug use and getting high. We kill each other simply because the music in someone’s car is too loud. And America is the fattest nation in the world. We have no self-control over our desires, impulses, emotions, or actions. 

Cutting or Anorexia has a common thread of giving the person a sense of control. They may not be able to control the things that are happening in their lives, but they get to decide (control) when they cut or purge themselves. What it shows us is how our enemy can pervert and twist our perception of things.

The same goes for people who over eat (I have lived this). Finding comfort in food and eating what you want, when you want it (including the entire carton of ice cream) gives you a sense of control in at least one area of your life.

Ever hear an alcoholic or drug addict say they can quite anytime they want?  Same goes for smokers? Totally in denial of the truth, which is their substances abuse controls them.

Maybe these are things you’ve never had to deal with or encountered, but what does your credit card statements reveal? Do you have self-control when it comes to spending money or using a credit card? Why are so many Christians in debt? And debt that many of us are unable to pay back? How come each year around this time we start buying on credit or negating to pay bills so our kids will enjoy a lavished Christmas Day that has nothing to do with Christ?

We allow our anger to control us in ways, which are not becoming to God. We are argumentative and like to quarrel.  We can give our husbands the cold shoulder for a week and think nothing of it—after all, he pissed me off!

Why do we love gossip so much? Why do we use manipulation of others to get our way? How come when trouble shows up, we are in the center of it? You see sisters; self-control is something we need in every aspect of our lives—especially when it comes to our thoughts, impulses and tongue.

Paul warned the Galatians that the desires of our flesh are opposed to the Holy Spirit, and the desires of the Holy Spirit are opposed to the things of the flesh.  In other words, we got a war going on! And if we sow to the flesh then we are going to remain a hot mess and out of control. But! If we sow to the Spirit, then things are going to change so we look more like Jesus!

I have struggled the past several years with my weight, and it seems that the past year I started to gain again. (Not that I was at a healthy weight to begin with.) But lately, I have changed the way I eat without planning too. Monday through Thursday, I basically eat one good mean a day. I am not suggesting this for anyone other than myself, and the reason I say this is because it is a custom design by the Holy Spirit for me.

I’ve been doing a Bible study for the past few months on the “Kingdom of God” and reading “Soul Detox…Clean Living in a Contaminated World”. (Good book by the way.) And one day I prayed, “Lord, I’m ready to let go of all things I’ve been holding on to that are not good for me! Holy Spirit, help me!” Now at the time I said this heartfelt prayer, I was thinking more on the lines of television shows, movies and things like that. But taken at face value by God the “anything” walked me through a door of self-control with food.

In the morning I have a cup of coffee, piece of fruit or fruit bar. I drink plenty of water during the morning while I’m writing and I feel very satisfied. Then I eat a good plate or bowl of food usually between the hours of 1 – 2 pm. Yesterday, I had roasted chicken, a small baked sweet potato, green bean sautéed in olive oil and fresh garlic and fried apples with dried cranberries. I don’t measure, I don’t worry about portion control—I just make a good plate of food. I take my time eating and rest a little bit when halfway through. I have a glass of red wine around 6pm and if I want something sweet I eat a yogurt or piece of fruit. I’ve been going to bed earlier, and wake up feeling much better. And I don’t feel deprived at all.

On the weekends I do eat more, but I don’t use it as an excuse to overeat or gorge myself. I still excise the fruit of self-control. I tell my body in a heartbeat, “Nope, you don’t need it and you’re not getting it!”

Now that I have invited God into an area of my life I was still holding for myself, (because I could be in control) I have a greater confidence and awareness of using self-control in other avenues of my life—especially my thought life. We win and lose battles there on a daily bases.

There is no quick or easy fix to learning to exercise the fruit of self-control other than getting into our Bibles to understand what it is, and how it works. You’re going to have to dig into who the Holy Spirit is, His reason for being here, His purpose for living with us, and what we gain by sowing into Him, versus our flesh and own desires.

It’s time to learn to control those thoughts that defeat us—our tongues, our emotions, our desires, flesh and eating. Yes, my dear sisters—it’s Bible time!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

Be Grateful For the Lessons

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18) I mean who hasn’t read this Bible verse before? But I think too often we read over it. We like to skim certain scriptures, because they demand we stop and think about what is really being said. And we don’t want to do that, especially on the hard stuff.

What do you mean; give thanks to losing my job and losing my house? Why should I give thanks that I’ve just been diagnosed with cancer? Why am I expected to give thanks after four miscarriages and I want a baby? What in the heck do you mean; give thanks that my husband has run off with another woman, leaving me and our kids on food stamps? Are you serious?! How can this be God’s will for me?!

With Thanksgiving Day coming up in a little less than 2 weeks (for those of us who live in the USA) it has caused me to pause and think about what it really means to give thanks in all things.

Thanksgiving Day has always been my happiest holiday. It meant seeing family I didn’t get to see every day, and eating some of the best food I ate all year—especially stuffing. When I was growing up, turkey was special—not like today where we can buy a turkey any time of year and eat it every day if you choose. I remember my mother, her sisters, brothers and cousins sitting around after we had finished eating, and talking about old times and how far they had come and all they had to be grateful for. And now that I think back, they lived through some very hard times (especially as people of color), but they seemed grateful for how those times had shaped them and all they had accomplished over the years. No one left early to go shopping—all stores were closed back then. It was all about family, friends and reminiscing about the hard times that were now the good times. It seems they knew something; we are having a hard time grasping in today’s society.

We mummer and complain an awful lot to be children of the King. How many of you have prayed and begged God for a husband, a house or a particular job or maybe any job? He gives it too you, and when the honeymoon period is over—you wonder if it was a mistake? Marriage is hard work, the upkeep of a house takes money, and working for someone else can be demanding. Now you are complaining, murmuring and begging God to get you out!

You’ve lost your income and have become dependent on others, yet you were someone who worked all your life. There’re lessons to be learned here.

Cancer is trying to literally eat you up and take you out of here. There are lessons to be learned in the fight.

Your husband left you and the kids and times are hard. There are lessons to be learned.

Jesus never promised us a rose garden; in fact He promised there would be trials, tribulations and heartaches. But He also promised we would not be alone in them. And Paul goes on to tells us that we are more than conquerors. Which translates into—we are going to have things in our lives that we must overcome because that is the only way you conqueror something. Overcome and overtake it.

Your heart is breaking; do you thank God for the pain and broken heart? No, but I’ve learned to thank Him for being there for me and His promise of how close He is to those with a broken heart. And once through the pain and the lesson to be had—there have been times of great praise because hindsight can surely be 20/20.

As you battle Cancer, if nothing else your dependence on God increases and your faith grows stronger.

Being abandoned by your husband, teaches you to forgive (in a huge way), and realize God as your true provider and source—and find out that you are more than just a wife and mother.

Being in a situation where you don’t know where your next dollar is coming from, helps you with the pride in your life (we all struggle with pride) and reinforces your faith in God’s provisions for those things that you truly have need of.

See sisters, no matter how difficult the circumstances may be—we can always find something to be thankful for. Because after all—it is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus. Remembering He is with us no matter what!

It’s time for us to stop praying and begging God that we be released from situations and pray for strength and endurance. If you look at all the praying Paul did through his ministry there was only one instance where he prayed the hardship be taken away. And quickly agreed with God when He said, “No!” Other than that his prayers for himself and others were that they would be able to stand and endure. Even Jesus prayed the same for us. (see John 17)

We must stop complaining to God about our husbands and children and what they don’t do, and start thanking God for the things they do. Even if your marriage is not good, your job sucks, and you are not where you had hoped you would be in life—if you believe that God is finishing a good work in you, that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose—then you have much to be thankful for—especially in the hard times.

Let’s take a moment to read what perseverance in our times of trouble produces for us. Romans 5:3-5 (Click)

No more skipping over scriptures or picking out only the ones we want to read. It’s time to really delve into the Word, so that we can endure and be a light to others. No more complaining for the world to see. 

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie

You’re Never Too Old, Too Busy or Too Broke!

The other day a Facebook friend posted the picture you see to your left and it really struck home as to the lies our enemy has convinced many of us to believe when it comes to being of service.

You’re too old: If at 99 a woman who has a talent of sewing can make a child’s dress everyday—then the sky really is the limit for so many of us! Maybe you can’t sew and that's okay, but everybody can do something.

Right away some of you are shaking your heads and thinking, “But Ponnie, you don’t know what my life is like?” And you are absolutely correct—I don’t know what your life is like—but I do know about life itself. Maybe you are having some health issues, that’s possible, but is there still something you can do to take your mind off your problems and sow seed into someone else’s life?

I have a friend who has been in inner-city missions for years with her husband. She had a great battle not so long ago with breast cancer—chemo—radiation—the works! But on her good days (and now she has plenty because she is in remission) she would crochet things for others.

Okay, so you don’t sew and you don’t crochet—I get it. But there is still something you can do.

As daughters of the King, I feel it is impossible to not have some type of talent or gift, to use to help or encourage others. That’s it! You can encourage others! Maybe your church congregation prints a list of those who are sick or home bound. Even if you can’t get out to visit (which would be good if you could) you can send a card or pick up the phone and call them. So often, those who are sick and unable to attend services feel isolated or forgotten.

Maybe if you have a couple of extra dollars you can help a single mom you see struggling. I have gotten a card with $5.00 in it, and it might as well have been $50.00, for the way it lifted my heavy heart! It doesn’t have to be something big, so often it’s the little things that can make a huge impact in the life of someone.

I’m too busy: If our lives are such that we are too busy to help or encourage someone else…something is very wrong! I know women who homeschool and have 10, 9 and 8 children—yet they can still find time to help others. It might be just a phone conversation of encouragement, or a ride somewhere. Maybe a casserole for someone who is ill. I don’t think I have met anyone busier than a homeschooling mom with 10 kids, yet she can see the need in others. So, what excuses are you making as to why you can’t? I think if we dig deep and really get honest, it's not always so much we can’t versus we don’t want to.

I see so many sisters in the Body who are discouraged, depressed and sad. And a great part of it has to do with our busyness in the Body. We don’t take time to encourage one another. Yes, it takes time to be a listening ear. It takes time to pray for others. It takes time and selflessness to exhort your sister. It might even mean you don’t get to do what you had planned. Planning is good, but we must still allow God to order our steps. Here’s an example of something I know people do. You are one who goes to a midweek service or Bible study. I’m talking faithful, never miss it. You get a call from a sister who you can tell by the sound of her voice, might need to talk, but you tell her you have to call her back—you gotta go!

Question, “What do you think was more important, attending Bible study (because that is what you do), or that person on the other end of the phone?” I’m not talking about foolishness and empty conversations, but the point I’m trying to make is that we can be so busy with our agendas; we are not available to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. In our busyness we can become very self-centered, versus Christ-centered. Just as the priest who walked by the wounded and beaten man on the side of the road—if he had stopped to help it would have been too much of an inconvenience.

Too broke: You might be in a situation where you have no extra money to speak of. You might not even have carfare to ride public transportation downtown and back, or the food in your cupboards is getting low and just a little too close to empty for comfort. You cannot remember the last time you were able to buy a new pair of shoes, or your underwear could be getting raggedy. You might very well be experiencing a lean season…but that still should not hold you back from being of service to others.

You can enlist the help of your friends or Christ family to purchase blank cards and stamps and also send encouraging notes. If you are one who sews or crochets, ask for yarn or material to make something for others. Hospital NICU wards need blankets and little hats for pre-term babies. They also need people to come and sit and rock the babies as volunteers. If you have a phone, call someone (not to complain about your problems), but to let them know you were thinking about them. Invite someone over who you know is lonesome to watch a movie. All you need is water and popcorn—laced with laughter and good conversation.

Sisters, my point is, we all have something that we can do or give to be of service to others. In other words, “We are not too old, too busy or too broke to serve our Lord.” Amen!

Until next week,

Love and Hugs

Ponnie