CLUTTER

Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self! ~Eleanor Brownn~

Wow!! When I first read this quote by Eleanor Brownn, it hit me like a ton of bricks! It made me stop and think about the things we as daughters of the King live with on a daily bases that doesn’t support the better us!

I chose this week’s photo because it’s a very good representation of what the inside of some of us looks like or a relationship we are in. It does give you a sense of emotional clutter as well as physical.

Housing and holding on to Old Ideas, is most defiantly living in the past.

Continually allowing Bad Habits to have rule gets us nowhere?

Toxic Relationships can affect everything about us!

Letting go seems to be very hard for people. Have you ever watched one of the hoarder shows? It’s amazing what people cling too. Same thing goes for toxic relationships. Women stay in marriages and relationships where they are physically and mentally abused for years. Many families have toxic relationships that just bring out the worst in everyone. Friendships can be summed up as toxic when one uses the other and never brings anything good or worthwhile to the table.

Bad habits become a way of life and gain rule over us. On many levels we realize they are there, but often don’t have the courage or conviction to make change.

Hanging on to old ideas stagnates and stunts our growth, yet we can still refuse to let go.

Why is that?

Fear!

This is the type of “Fear” Timothy warns us about, the type of fear that hinders and can paralyze us. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Women stay in toxic marriages and relationships out of fear of being alone. Often married women fear how they will make it on their own, especially if they have children. Some women are so desperate to be attached to someone (their self-esteem is so low) they view the abuse as a viable option to being alone.

It can be scary to have to move on and leave family and old friends behind—but many times that is what’s needed. As a parent you might need to put someone out of your house. When Jesus became prominent in my life, I lost ALL my friends, and I do mean ALL. That shows you what type of life I was living. I drank a lot ( way too much), smoked, cussed, partied, gossiped, had sex outside of marriage, was petty, unforgiving, envious of others, vindictive and just hung out with folks that by God’s standard were pure heathens! But then Christ got a hold of me, and I did become a new creature. And bit, by bit, I moved away from most of them and the others moved away from me. You see, I was no longer fun and one of them.

I did try to hold on to some even though I knew they were not good for me. Why? Out of fear of not having any friends—fear of being lonely. And you know what? I was lonely for a period of time. But it was a time of purging on God’s part and they were all replaced by daughters of the King, “aka” mighty women of God!

At the time I had a best friend of over 17 years, and I really didn’t want to lose her, but the more I talked to her and listen to her cuss up a storm the more I realized I had to cut back on our conversations, because I was putting down “fitly” communications. The more she gossiped about others, the more I realized we were drifting apart. And then eventually I saw with clear eyes (because I no longer walked in darkness) that our friendship had been built on all things that were an assault to Christ and I had to let her go.

Now I tell you sisters, God replaced her with a best friend and mentor whose friendship is going on 24 years now. And He replaced all the others too. (See August 16, 2013, blog: Collective Wisdom,)

I had to let go of my old way of thinking and allow my mind to be continuously renewed by the Word of God. Old ideas and old ways of thinking were no longer acceptable in the Kingdom if I wanted to grow and move forward in Christ.

The breaking of old habits is the work in progress that we are, but that can’t be an excuse to stay enveloped in them. We must keep striving to reach a higher mark in life as Believers; we cannot allow the “clutter” to takeover and run our lives.

Sisters, what clutter do you have in your lives that is not supporting the “better you”? What clutter is tearing you down and holding you back? Once you have honestly answered these questions, then it is time to step out in faith to make change and let go.

We don’t have to be afraid of the unknown, because it is all known to God. Don’t be afraid to let old friends and some family members go. There are times it just has to be done. Don’t be afraid to get to a safe haven if you are being abused. It is not God’s will for anyone to be abused. Don’t be afraid to put an old dream to rest and move forward into something new. Remember what the Lord has told us, “Fear Not!”

Oh, and if the picture I used today reflects your home or bedroom in anyway—you really need to start there and get it cleaned up. Why? Because it truly is a reflection of things going on inside. Amen.

Blessings and Hugs

Until next week......Ponnie

DISTRACTED

Today we live in a world that is full of noise and distractions and at times we are hard pressed for a little peace and quiet. I grew up in an era when everyone had quiet time. In fact it was a big part of life. On Sundays after church or Sunday school, you came home and changed your clothes (back then we saved our best for Sunday or special occasions) ate and spent the rest of the day being quiet, reading and waiting for the Ted Mack and Ed Sullivan TV shows. When the weather was nice we could sit outside on the porch or steps, but we didn’t run up and down the street, jump rope, play hop scotch or ride our bikes as we did the other days of the week. Sundays were peaceful.

In today’s world there’s so much noise and so many distractions vying for our attention and time. Distraction: a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. Yup, that’s our world, full of things that prevent us from giving full attention to the things we need too. And worst of all, we often can’t hear ourselves think. And if we can’t hear ourselves think, then how can we hear the small quiet voice of our Messiah?

 Jesus himself said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27) “And they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” (John 10:5)

Again I ask, “If we can hardly hear ourselves think, then how can we hear the small still voice of the Lord?”

It’s impossible to have a steady diet of junk food and be healthy. It’s also the same for our spiritual wellbeing. What goes in—is what comes out. Going to church one day a week and never reading the Bible the rest of the work, does not build strong spiritual muscles anymore than going to the gym once a week and gorging on food the rest of the week, builds strong muscles. But that is what many of us do. We don’t attend Bible study or read any books that will help us grow in the ways of the Lord so that we will know the difference between His voice and that of a stranger.

The most familiar strangers we listen to and follow are the TV, internet, tweeter, Facebook, newspapers, and all sorts of social media. We are fed a daily diet of lies and misconceptions. We watch movies and TV shows that have nothing good to offer us and allow them to eat away at what truth we do know to be right. We are so distracted by our phones, email and text messages we can hardly eat and have conversation with others without being interrupted by some type of electronic devices. Yet we wonder why we are encountering so many difficulties in our lives?

It is impossible to know the voice of the Good Shepherd if you don’t spend time with Him. It is the same in the natural—we recognize the voices of those we talk to and interact with regularly. And we don’t recognize the voice of the telemarketer or person who has dialed the wrong number.  In a crowded store a woman can hear the word, “Mom” and know if it is her child calling her or it is meant for someone else. So, we do know voices and who they belong too. But it takes relationship to get to that point.

If we have time to play Candy Crush, interact on Facebook, tweet, text, read emails, watch TV and or movies, then we have time to spend with the Messiah, learning His voice. It’s just that we can be lazy and self-indulgent when it comes to the work needed for a good relationship with Him. But then again, as a young single woman I remember spending hours talking on the phone to a man of my choice. So, it really boils down to what we think is important.

Sisters, going to church once a week is not enough to have a close relationship with the Messiah! Doing our own thing all week long only gets us into trouble and prevents us from living the good life. Stop making poor decisions (of your own emotional making) and saying you prayed and this is what God told you to do. You are deceived! And you know how you can tell—at the end—your schemes never work out! You find yourself in the same place as you were before. You keep going around in circles. There’s no real peace or joy in your life, and you’re overwhelmed and sad.

If we want things to change in our lives we must make the decision to get to know the one who died for us. Spend time with Him—fall in love with Him. Turn off those things that distract us from being with Him. Get to truly know His voice and be able to follow Him and not strangers or the deceitfulness of our own hearts.

The more time we spend with our true Love, the more we want to do things His way. The more our hearts change and the wiser we become. And we understand that sin only brings heartache and grave consequences and it is in our own best interest to do things God’s way. The more time we spend with the Good Shepherd the more we will follow Him and run from the voice of strangers or our deceitful hearts. Amen!

Blessings and Hugs

Until next week......

TREPIDATION

“Fear not!” “Trust God!” “Do not be afraid!” all words from the Messiah himself, yet, we all struggle with trepidation. Trepidation: (n) a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may or may not happen. Synonyms, fear, apprehension, dread, fearfulness, fright, agitation, anxiety, worry, nervousness, tension, misgivings, unease, uneasiness, foreboding, disquiet, dismay, alarm, panic. Yes, the kind of stuff that keeps us up at night, affects our health and or emotional wellbeing. Yup, we have all been there—done that!

Trepidation has no boundaries. It doesn’t care if you are young, old, wealthy, poor, slim, overweight, smart, well educated, uneducated, single, married, single parent, a two parent household, employed, unemployed, Caucasian, African, Asian, Latino, Hispanic, African American, Jewish, Middle Eastern, British, Australian, Italian, Irish and the list goes on. Trepidation does not care who you are or what you have or don’t have—by no means is it a respecter of persons. It is out to get you! Your social or economic standing doesn’t matter, just as long as you are a Child of the King and it can steal your joy and peace—and make you doubt God. That is all it cares about.

With each new college semester my youngest daughter has a tendency to worry about her classes the very first day and what lies ahead. And now that she's in the spring semester of her junior year, I see that from time-to-time, she is having trepidation about her senior year and what will come after graduation. This all boils down to “needless” worry, but nonetheless it is common place for us as humans. This is why Jesus instructed us to stay focused in each day we are living and not worry or have trepidation about tomorrow.

You might be one who prides themselves as not worrying a lot about things, but let life unscripted show up and you can find yourself battling trepidation just like anyone else. You’re young—healthy—have your whole life ahead of you and—Bam! You have cancer. Next thing you know, you start to plan your funeral. The rumor mill on your job has the company laying off or even closing down. You begin to envision yourself homeless and living in a shelter. The weather is treacherous and your husband and kids are late getting home and you can’t reach him on his cell phone. If you don’t rein in your thoughts, you will have them lying in a ditch dead somewhere.

Trepidation is a sneaky little devil for sure.

If only it were a minor battle of our thoughts and we could easily rein them in and move on—but not so. James tells us, we must “resist’ the devil he will flee. The operative word here is resist. To resist means we must, weather the storm, endure the hardship, cope with, stand against, bear the trial, be brave, hold out, tough it out, bear up against the adverse circumstances. Hum, so it seems that the act of resisting is not something that necessarily comes easily, especially depending on the severity of the circumstances at hand. So, how do we resist and win the battle? James instructs, “Submit to God, resist the devil and he shall flee, draw close to God and he will draw close to us.” See (James 4:7-8)

And how do we submit to God?

By doing exactly what the Messiah has instructed us to do. Believe God—Trust God—Fear not!

And how do we do that?

We must study the Bible! We must meditate on what it says, until it easily flows from our hearts—until it can beat trepidation down with the quickness. It is imperative in the life of  the Believer to fill up our emotional and spiritual storehouse with the Word of God until it overflows into every aspect of our lives. That way when you are sitting in the doctor’s office receiving a bad report, you will not be overwhelmed by what you hear, but overtaken by the peace of God. When you are sitting around with your classmates and the “fear of” starts to control the conversation, you are able to encourage them and yourself to “not worry” about tomorrow and focus on trusting God. No more precious time spent on worrying about things to come—that never do.

There is only one thing that can beat down trepidation and that is our Trust in God.

Sisters, it is time to stop letting the spirit of “trepidation” cause us sleepless nights, knots in our stomach, constipation, anxiety, fatigue, stress and steal our joy and hope in the Lord. It is time to rise up and work on renewing your mind. It is time to know how to resist the devil before he shows up and overpowers you.

First—read your Bible! And if you could use help or instruction on how to apply what you are reading, I suggest Joyce Myers book, The Battlefield of the Mind! It will be some of the best monies spent. Amen!!

Blessings & Hugs

Until next week......

Giving Ourselves the Gift of Time

 Every day we open our eyes it’s a gift of more time from God. And with it comes the choice of how we spend or manage this gift. When I was younger (like so many), I assumed I had plenty of time for whatever in life! Well, a lot has changed since I was 25, now that I am 61 years of age. I have come to know that I have lived more years, than I probably have left and in taking life for granted I wasted many gifted days and a whole lot of time. There is no going back, only forward, and that is why I want to encourage us my dear sisters to not take our days for granted and stop putting off, giving ourselves a daily gift of time.

It is important to make time for ourselves each day. Why? Well, for one, tomorrow is not promised, and because we are important! We need to make sure we care for ourselves just as we do for others.
I have come to the conclusion it really doesn’t matter if we are younger, older, single, married or have kids—as women we have a tendency to put ourselves last. I know single women without children who are so busy with being busy—they too don’t give themselves the daily gift of time. Therefore, it is not so much our extenuating circumstances as much as our mindsets or maybe even our upbringing. There is an old saying, “A woman’s work is never done!” and there is a lot of truth to that, but on the flip side—it is done for the day when we say it is done.

When God gives us the gift of time in a new day, I don’t see anywhere it is His desire and plan for us to spend it in a way that we are exhausted at the end, and have not used some of the day for us. In fact He wants us to have quiet time to hear from Him and meditate on His Word. And we can achieve that by walking, soaking in a bubble bath, or sitting in a comfy chair listening to soft music. We only have to give ourselves the time for it.

When I was growing up, hobbies were a big deal once you reached a certain age. Life was different and people had more time at home and fewer distractions and we didn’t get to sit in front of the TV all day and all night. Maybe you could use a hobby in your life to bring relaxation and a sense of enjoyment? I do crochet a bit—mainly baby blankets, but of late I think I would like to stretch myself and take on a new project or two. I have also been experiencing some minor difficulties with my lower back and purchased the Am/PM yoga for beginners DVD by Jane Fonda. In truth, I’m experiencing a shift in my overall health and it is imperative that I spend a portion of my day, doing all that I can to reverse this shift upwards.

The blessing of being individuals is we will be able to customize what we are going to do with our gift of time. We must agree and be determined to give ourselves this gift to make sure we are refreshed, focused and working toward a goal of taking care of ourselves. We must classify ourselves as “Important” and “Valuable”!

Am or PM, it’s up to you to make change. And if you are one who has a history of not doing much for yourself on a daily bases then start small—crave out half an hour each day. Failure often comes for us because we bit off more than we can chew, have unrealistic expectations and become defeated before we become disciplined in a matter. 

Sisters there is much we can do and achieve with the gift of time we give ourselves—the sky’s the limit. We just have to do it. Join that sewing class you have been talking about and then spend time during the week sewing. Go check out the yoga class you think might help you feel better. Make sure you spend time talking and listening to God. Eat off paper plates so you won’t have dishes—put on music and dance for 15 minute—then take a hot bath. You can run around the block, go for a walk, talk on the phone to someone who makes you laugh, pick up an old hobby you used to love but somehow stopped doing. Just be sure to give yourself the gift of time each day, that’s all I’m asking you do.

Since we are commanded to love our neighbors as we love ourselves—we must work on loving and viewing ourselves as important—if we are to be a brighter light for others.

Until next week.....Blessings and Hugs

Ponnie

What Are You Seeking For 2014?

When the New Year rolls around most of us desire to make change in our lives. We want to be healthier, happier, engaged, buy a home, have a baby, get a higher education, a promotion, new job, more money, travel and the list goes on. We set goals or make resolutions as to how we are going to achieve these things. Some of us are going to try online dating to see if we can meet Mr. Right and others will join a weight loss program and or gym to lose weight and have a healthier lifestyle. The World gives us so many options on how to achieve a new lifestyle of happiness and financial freedom, but should we listen to it? No way! Yet we do buy into the World’s concept of doing things on a daily bases. But the truth is—we should be striving to follow God’s MO (Motive of Operation) and His way of doing things.

There is not one of us who doesn’t need change in our lives, and I say that with much confidence because I know it to be the truth. Because we are ALL still a work in progress, so therefore change and improvement are needed for growth! And if we could achieve greatness or stable change on our own, we would not need the help of the Holy Spirit or God’s Mo. But we do!

In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks about why we should not worry about and chase the things that the World does. He assures us that our Father knows what we have need of and is very capable of making sure they are meant, so we should focus on seeking the things of God’s Kingdom and righteousness and He will make sure all other things are taken care of. (Read Matthew 6:25-34) So do you think by doing things His way we will have success and staying power? You better believe it!

Are your finances in trouble? The World says, “Go back to college” and it doesn’t matter how much debt you will incur or that you will be worse off than when you started so you can make more money. But God has the right solution for you. It might be as simple as stop being wasteful and making poor and unwise decisions with your money. It could be the realization that buying things is not the way to happiness and it is time to get out of debt. Maybe you need to downsize or you need to wait patiently on Him for a promotion or better job. All you have to do, is seek Him for the answer.

You need to lose weight and keep it off. Weight Watchers might be the answer for you, but then again it may not. You may not have the money it will cost to join and follow the diet, but that doesn’t rule you out for a healthier lifestyle, no, you just have to seek God how it is to be done and what is the root to your problem so that you will keep it off and be successful.

Your marriage is rocky and you are not happy. Maybe you do need to see a marriage counselor, but I would seek God first because if He is not the center of it—you have the makings for disaster.  But then again, it could be as simple as you looking at the part you are playing in the unhappiness of your marriage and deciding to do things God’s way. You know—a soft answer stops the argument—you start being a wise woman and build your house up versus tear it down like a foolish one does. Because that is God’s MO to a happy home!

I don’t have anything against online dating except—you better make darn sure this is something God has instructed you to do! Don’t listen to your friends, TV ads or the foolishness of your own heart—wait on God. Because acknowledging God in all our ways is doing things His way.

I saw numerous posts on Facebook the past few days that all people wanted for 2014 was to be happy. So, it prompted me to look up the definition of happy, so we could have a common understanding. Happy: (adj) feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Synonyms: cheerful, cheery, merry, joyful, jovial, jolly, jocular, gleeful, carefree, untroubled, delighted, smiling, beaming, grinning, in good spirits, in a good mood, lighthearted, pleased, radiant, and sunny. Now I understand why the Bible tells us nothing about being happy, because the above definitions are used in the content of emotions which can easily betray us at any given moment. But in seeking God’s way of doing things, we are promised a “Joy” that will surpass all human understanding and it has nothing to do with man’s definition or expectation of happiness.  

Sisters, could we have been approaching this all wrong? Do we now have a glimpse as to why, things are just not working out for us and each New Year’s we are talking about the same stuff we wanted to do last year and the year before that! We don’t need the gym membership, nicotine patches, marriage counseling, a dating service, higher education, bigger bank account, bigger house or newer car if God is not the center of it all! All we need is Him and then He will take care of adding on and leading us to get to those other things...if it is His will for us. 

Let us join together and believe that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him and His way of doing things!! Amen!

Until next week.....Blessings and Hugs

Ponnie