Father's Day......

Cheryl wrote this last year in honor of Father's Day...it was such a great blog we wanted to rerun it again...please enjoy!

Hi,

As I write we are coming up on Father’s Day and although I am sure very little to no men join us at the kitchen table I really wanted to spend this blog highlighting dads. Every year in May you see all the advertisements for Mother’s Day. Florist and restaurants are overloaded with customers. Many churches are packed and some have messages tailored to celebrate mothers and women. There are churches that even handout roses or carnations to all the mothers. As a mom of course I love every moment of it but what about the dads? So today I want to get on my soap box and spend some time pumping up dads.

Like some of you I had some dad issues. My own father left my mom when I was 2 and truth is, he was not the most dedicated father. He would not show up when he was supposed to. He promised things and did not come through. I remember waiting all day for him to pick me and my three siblings up to go to an amusement park. I kept going back and forth to my front door looking for his car to turn the corner and it never did. Please do not feel bad for me because I am so over this. It is because I have no animosity towards my father that I can freely share this. But there is no denying that as a result of the events in my life I began to get bitter and mistrusting of men. The first one was my dad. I began to speak to him in a very disrespectful manner and was determined not to need him for anything. As we became adults he apologized and gave all credit to my mom for us growing up so well. I remember when he was apologizing thinking with my Christian, saved, sanctified self “Whatever man!” I had a lot of hurt and I needed healing

One of the first steps of my healing came from a man who came to speak at Lincoln University. I am not sure what his topic was, but this older African American male said something that began to change my thinking. Let me back up a minute. While on campus it was not strange for me to call guys a name of the canine nature... I spoke it freely and with conviction. I really believed that all men were dogs and those who were not completely dogs had doggish tendencies. Well this man said that women should stop speaking that over our men. He said that even though some of our young men and older ones too behave in ways that are not honorable that every time we call them this name we are perpetuating the behavior. It may not have impacted the other females there but my friend and I decided that from that day forward we would not refer to our male counterparts as dogs. And I never did again. Not using the term was more than an outward thing but I began to see some good in the guys around me and started to expect good until shown otherwise.

The second step to healing came from a teaching book by Charles Stanley. He taught in this book about forgiveness. I learned that when I do not forgive I relinquish power to the enemy, the devil. I received revelation on how much I have been forgiven. What audacity I had not to forgive. I also found out that unforgiveness causes bitterness which affects every part of your being. I made a decision to forgive my dad. I was not comfortable calling him and saying what needed to be said so I improvised. I got an empty chair and pretended he was sitting in front of me and them I began to share all my hurt with “him”. After purging I released and forgave him. It was not easy. I sat in my room and I cried like a baby. After that day I still had to fight the urge to hold a grudge. In fact when I was planning my wedding 13 years ago I was not going to let him walk me down the aisle. The Holy Spirit got a hold of me and "yes" my father did walk me down the aisle and I am glad he did. Of course there were other things that helped heal my broken heart but the ones mentioned had the biggest impact. God has done a great work on me.

I think about my own husband. He works hard everyday so I can stay home with our kids. After driving an hour to get home he does not just sit in a chair and zone out in front of the television, he takes the boys, plays with them, puts them to bed and cleans the kitchen. Brian prays with our sons, teaches them and disciplines when necessary. He is a great example of a godly man to our two children. There are many men out there that have busy work schedules yet they find time to be coaches, mentors and youth leaders. All men who are not with the mothers of their children are not dead beat dads; they are totally involved in every aspect of their children’s lives. They love their kids and are taking care of them financially, emotionally and spiritually the very best they can.

The greatest thing is that no one is left out because we have God, the Father. He is the best Daddy of them all. He loves us according to Jeremiah 31 with an everlasting love. In Isaiah 43 he calls us precious in his sight. He longs to take care of us. Jesus said in Matthew the 7th chapter. “If you then… know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask?”

I would like to challenge you sisters to begin to look for something to admire in the men in your life. It could be your mailman, just the fact that he is always respectful, goes the extra mile, and rings your doorbell when he leaves a rental movie in your door. When we purpose to look for good in people we will more than likely find it.

Let’s pray. "Father in Jesus name we thank You for being the best Father we could ever want. Thank You for looking after us and perfecting all those things that concern us. We bring all the fathers we know before You today. We ask that You would strengthen them with power and wisdom. We pray that they would walk in the light of Your Word and that they would walk worthy of You. We also ask that they would train their children up in the way they should go so that they will not depart from You and Your ways. Give them the tools necessary to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, and that these fathers will honor You and live a life that is pleasing to You so that their children and their children’s children will live. In Jesus’ name, Amen."



Until next time,

Hugs and Kisses,
Cheryl


Ponnie will be back on Monday!

I Will Not Be Moved

The other day I was sharing with my dear friend and mentor how I was finding it harder each day to fight the thoughts of doubt. I talked about how it seemed that everything I tried to do turned to dirt and I was beginning to wonder if I had heard God wrong when He told me I would write my way out of my situation. I also have begun to wonder if there is something deeply wrong in my heart. Why else would life have to be so hard for so many years? God judges the heart and often we are very deceived by the things of our heart where He is not. Is it that I am not trustworthy? Is it that if my circumstances where to change, so would I?

As always she listened intently as I shared my heart with her. It is good to have someone in your life you can share what is really on your mind without fear of judgment. Such a person is a gift from God, because so often we as God’s girls are very judgmental, when we should be full of compassion and understanding. Because we all experience those times when we doubt God on what He is doing or what He is allowing in our lives. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love God or don’t trust Him at all—it is the natural battle of the flesh against the Spirit.

When I finished she did her best to encourage me and pointed out how I had moved from trusting God each day, and was now looking at tomorrow. I knew this was true and was able to share that because my “today’s” had become so drab, I was looking forward in hope of seeing change. Not that that is a good thing, because it isn’t, but, at least I could pinpoint why I had taken my eyes out of living in my today versus trying to live into my tomorrow. Which by the way isn’t even promised.

She talked about many things but what stuck out most in my heart was when she shared that when things seem askew for her, she stands on what she believes about God and refuses to be moved. Her example…Lord I don’t understand right now why things went down the way they did but your Word tells me all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose, so I will not be moved by my circumstances because I trust and believe you. (Romans 8:8) It hit me like a ton of bricks—I have allowed myself to be moved from what I know to be true. God’s Word!

At that moment I realized in no uncertain terms I had to take her stance “I will not be moved!” Wow! It was that simple. In saying it’s that simple; I’m not saying it is easy to stand on what God has written when it seems all hell is breaking loose around you, but that the solution is simple. Sometimes things can get so muddled for us that we lose sight of the solution and often it is as simple as remembering who we belong to and what that means for us.

God and I are having a long talk as to why I have been struggling to have joy in my days, especially since the Bible says that the joy of the Lord is my strength. But more so I have to get back into living in the present day and trusting God in all that may happen before its end.

Prayerfully if nothing else today I have encouraged someone to know that you are not alone in your struggles to trust God and the fight to not become disheartened in the life He has set before you. But that our hope springs eternal through the Messiah. So, if you take the stance “you will not be moved” by your circumstances and live according to what God’s Word has put before you, then you will be well on your way to winning the war on your thoughts of doubt and unbelief.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


I'll be back on Thursday

I Can’t Say It ENOUGH!!

Sisters, I can not say this enough to you, “Read your Bibles.” To some I might sound like a broken record, but I have to keep repeating myself because too many in the household of Faith—are just not getting it!

I’m seeing more and more women being overtaken by depression and despair. Why is this? Why are we at a point where we just want to lie down and quite? Because we are slackers in studying the Bible and building ourselves up for the fight. Oh yeah, there are going to be fights and battles. I don’t know anyone in the Kingdom who has never had to not fight “the stinkin thinking” thoughts of the mind. And when we are not able to bring our thoughts under the submission and authority of the Messiah then we are going to be in trouble. We are going to find ourselves waddling in self pity and maybe even moving away from the One who loves us. Yes! It can be that serious.

Encouragement is my gift, but there are times I feel myself becoming frustrated with women who are miserable, who don’t want to put the time and energy into changing their state of being. They want all the encouragers in the world to keep building them up, but you know what sisters, just like little babies…you gotta grow up sometime and fend for yourselves.

As women we will do any and everything before we spend consistent, quality time in the Word of God. We will work a 55 hour week for the man, clean our houses from top to bottom, rip and run doing errands, talk on the phone, watch TV, play games, surf the world wide web, cook, shop, and get our nails and hair done. We will hang out with our girlfriends; go to the movies, chauffer our kids around, work in the garden, clean out closets and cabinets, before we read the Bible. Oh, I forgot, and some of us think that reading Christian fiction can replace reading the actual Bible. Sorry…that doesn’t work.

Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying—I am not trying to put anyone down or the many things you may have to do as a mom, wife, sister, friend, or woman. Yes, many of us have a lot of things to accomplish in the course of the day, but that still doesn’t mean we don’t have our priorities confused. It doesn’t mean that a lot of what we do can’t wait or be done after we have spent some time reading our Bibles.

Why are there so many women in the Body of Christ who are so sad? I think a lot of it has to do with us not standing on the Promises of the Promise Maker. And why is that? Could it be that too many of us really don’t know God all that well? Or is it that we spend too much time trying to live on what someone has told us, instead of finding out for ourselves who He really is?

Often we as women become depressed and feel that God does not love us because of our circumstances and a lack of understanding as to how God loves. We associate God’s love by how much we have or what He’s done for us lately.

We look at others and judge God on why He gives them so much more than He gives us, and assume—therefore He doesn’t love me as much. Why does she has so many children and I can’t have one? How come her husband does so much for her when mine will barely take out the trash? This is her second marriage; I have yet to have one husband. Why do her children get to go to a college of their choice and mine have to go to community college? I’m still wearing clothes that are 7 years old, how come every season she looks so nice and fresh in her new outfits? I work hard on my job, why has she gotten so many promotions and I haven’t had one? Why is it that God loves others more than me? Why am I so worthless? These are the thoughts of the mind that if left unchecked will overtake us and pull us into the valley of depression, self pity and despair.

Sisters, I can’t say it enough! Read Your Bibles! In order to be victorious in life we must become fully persuaded in the things of God. And I hate to tell you this…it doesn’t come about by letting others spoon feed you on their interpretation of the Bible and who they think God is. You have to enter into relationship with Him yourself if you really want to be confident in His love. You have to seek Him out and make time to be with Him. Then and only then will you really get to know who He is and be able to fight and destroy the “stinkin thinking” that rises up against us and our Lord.

I want to share a little secret with you girls….our enemy has not change his MO (motive of operation) since he duped Eve in the garden. The same lines of doubt still work on us today. “If God really loved you, your husband would not have left you.” Just like Eve many of us listen to him and begin to ponder and think on what he is saying and before you know it! We are in agreement with him. Wrong move! You know he tried the same thing on our Messiah, but the end result was much different then that of Eve’s encounter. Yeshua (Jesus) told him exactly what the Word of God said and devil had to flee.

God’s love for us is never measured by what we have or don’t have compared to someone else. And the only way you are going to be able to control your wrong thinking and battle the lies of our enemy is to KNOW what your Bible has to say about things. And you must also work on letting the Word of God convince you of His love and affection for you. It is a good thing to be fully persuaded about what you stand on.

One more time….sisters, read your Bibles! And don’t wait for the storm to come rushing in. That would be like Noah trying to build the ark once the earth was flooded. Ah, a little too late.



Love & Hugs
Ponnie


I'll be back on Monday